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Flipping Out Recap: Patty Cake, Patty Cake, Jeff’s The Man!

We’re back after a one week hiatus of Flipping Out due to election day, and Jeff Lewis, Jenni Pulos, Zoila Chavez, Gage Edward, and crew are just as out there as ever.  That’s why we love them, right?  Not to mention, Grandma Patty was front and center in this episode, so that alone made it amazing. 

Last night’s episode started with Jeff using his infamous mask to scare the bejeezus out of Andrew and Zoila.  If Andrew had jumped any higher, he would have hit his head on the chandelier.  Zoila comforts him, while Jenni scolds Jeff.  Gage thinks that the Andy/Jeff dynamic isn’t appropriate for the work place.  At Gramercy, Gage, Jenni, Jeff, and Andrew are looking into planting trees.  Now that he’s listed the house, one of the couples from a showing said that there wasn’t enough privacy.  Gage is still pouting over Gramercy, and he’s wearing on my nerves as the season progresses.  I adored him at the beginning.

Jeff decides to prank call his grandmother, pretending he’s a roofer, but Patty totally hangs up on him. He and Jenni are on their way to see how her renovation is proceeding.  Jeff feels responsible for taking care of Patty, and he wants to discuss with her the fact that one day she’s going to need a caretaker.  He really wants her to move to Spring Oak (do it, do it!), but she’s not entertaining that idea.  Patty is such a spitfire, you can’t help but love her. 

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At Spring Oak, Andrew is in charge of making sure the backyard is properly landscaped.  The gardener won’t stay, but promises to come back later in the week.  Gage jumps on Andrew immediately for being such a pushover.  Gage wonders why couldn’t Andrew find him a ladder…and he takes matters into his own hands to get the trees trimmed.  Gage complains to Vanina, but she thinks that he needs to be more patient.  Jeff wants to put Andrew in control of Gramercy, but Gage just can’t stop holding a grudge.  Andrew enters, but not before he’s overheard Gage talking about him.  He’s getting paranoid that Gage is trying to force him out of a job.  Don’t be paranoid, Andrew–you’re right on the money!

Andrew is sharing his landscaping ideas for Gramercy with Jeff.  They totally play out “balls” when talking about topiary plants.  There are only so many puns one can make.  Gage doubts Andrew’s ability to landscape, but he is impressed at how Andrew can entertain Jeff…a trait Gage touts Andrew with for keeping his job.  At Gramercy, Gage and Jeff are moving in some pieces.  Gage hears running water, and he realizes that Andrew almost over flowed the pool.  Andrew is quick to admit his mistake, but Gage won’t let him forget it.  Jeff has confidence in Andrew’s abilities, but he hopes that having Andrew answer to Gage will perhaps help their relationship.

At Patty’s, Jeff drops the bomb on his grandmother that he’s going to be getting rid of her beloved cabinets.  Jeff assures her that they have already talked over the kitchen remodel.  He doesn’t want her to think she’s forgetting things, but at the same time, Jeff worries that Patty’s memory is fading.  Jeff is also frustrated because his brother lives twenty minutes from Patty and rarely helps.  Meanwhile, Jeff is sticking up post-it notes to remind Patty about her prescriptions. 

Gage doesn’t trust Andrew to work on his Gramercy baby.  Andrew is making more and more mistakes.  When Jeff chastises him about not placing a landscape order, Andrew is concerned that Gage will overhear (duh) and continue to be on his case.  Jenni and Jeff enlist sister-in-law Carrie to help convince Patty that she needs new cabinetry in her kitchen.  On the ride down, stories about Jeff’s mother are shared.  Carrie seems to be siding with Patty, so Jeff’s plan has backfired.  Carrie and Jeff argue about the positioning of the island and the stove in the kitchen, and now Jeff worries that Patty will be even more resistant of the remodel.

Andrew is working overtime landscaping Gramercy in hopes of impressing Gage.  Gage is not going to give Andrew any kind of compliments, and he micro manages Andrew as he tries to do his job.  Jeff is super exhausted and thinks he’s spending too much time on Gramercy when he could be working on other projects.  He decides to have a one-on-one with Dr. Donna.  Jeff reveals that taking care of Patty is a huge responsibility, and he gets no help from his brothers.  He wishes they felt more obligated to her.  Dr. Donna tries to get Jeff to realize that he’s upset with his brothers.  Jeff really does try to do what’s right, you can’t deny that.

In a last ditch attempt to get Gage to like him, Andrew approaches Gage about resolving their issues so that they can have a smoother business relationship.  Gage begrudgingly agrees to a “twenty minute” dinner.  In the mini-clip, Jeff convinces Zoila to put their trash in the neighbors’ trash cans.  As soon as she gets the bags in the outside trash bin, Jeff yells at her as if he’s the neighbor who owns the trash can.  She scoots away giggling and cursing Jeff’s practical joke.  At the most awkward dinner ever, Andrew is awaiting Gage with a broken box of cupcakes.  I just don’t know why Gage can’t throw him a bone.  I feel like Andrew is really trying (yes, I remember the lies), but Gage isn’t going to let anything go.  Gage wants Andrew to know that he’s protecting the company.  Andrew wants to prove himself to Gage, and he wishes they could be friends.  Gage explains that he’ll probably never like Andrew, but if he sees him working hard and doing a good job, he’ll at least respect him.  That’s a baby step at least.

Jeff, Jenni, and Gage are going to see Andrew’s progress with the landscaping.  Jeff is beyond impressed, and even Gage begrudgingly admits it looks good…of course, it occurred under his supervision.  Andrew is floored by the praise.  Jeff believes that Gage is waiting with baited breath for Andrew to make a mistake.  Gage can’t seem to get over himself.  At Patty’s home, Jeff, Jenni, Andrew, and Vanina are putting the finishing touches on the decor.  Patty loves the remodel, save the blue throw pillows.  She like fall colors.  Duh.  Patty reveals to Jeff that when she dies, she wants his brother to get her house.  Perhaps Jeff should have opted for green pillows. 

After the great mask debacle, Jeff decides he’s going to keep scaring AndrewDr. Donna told Jeff that he needs to focus less on money and more on what makes him happy.  Well, scaring the pants off of Andrew is what entertains Jeff.  He places a giant dead cricket on Andrew’s laptop.  It’s priceless.  Gage finally admits that he should at least appreciate Andrew for being able to make Jeff laugh. 

Next week, Jeff screams at Jenni about her lack of self-control, so of course the pair ends up on Dr. Donna’s sofa.  She should be in the opening credits!

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE?  IS GAGE BEING TOO MUCH OF A BRAT OR DOES ANDREW STILL NEED TO BE EARNING HIS TRUST?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]

 

Trades Alberta: Hesitant parents warm up to idea of their children going into …

EDMONTON – What do you want to be when you grow up is a question that’s asked frequently from a young age. Quite often the answer says more about the parents’ aspirations than anything else; that is, a push to the academic world, with no thought to a career in the trades.

Tom Welling of Calgary said he had “great ideas� of his son Colin going to university. The possibility of a trade entered the picture when an automotive teacher asked Welling and his wife if they knew about the Registered Apprenticeship Program (RAP).

“We had no idea (about RAP),� Tom Welling said.

The teacher explained the program and the parents talked to their son, who had heard about RAP, but wasn’t sure if it was for him. After thinking it over, Colin applied to train as an auto-service technician and was accepted shortly before finishing Grade 11.

Shortly into summer break, he got a call from his RAP supervisor who had lined up a job for him at ULS Maintenance Landscaping Inc. Colin put in 10-hour days working on the company’s large fleet of vehicles — and enjoyed it. Back in school, he kept up his automotive theory work and passed the written exams in January. The landscaping company wanted him back, so after completing Grade 12 this spring, the 18-year-old returned to his former workplace, until his next school session at SAIT in Calgary.

“It’s been a brilliant program for him,� Tom Welling said.

May Picardo of Drayton Valley is equally enthusiastic about the 4th class power engineering pathway and mentorship program her son, Daniel Meadwell, 16, is taking, while earning his high-school diploma. Being university educated herself, she expected Daniel to follow in her footsteps, and because he is strong academically, she was thinking more along the lines of business or medical school.

At an information night she learned about RAP’s stringent requirements and the opportunities and changed her mind. She was “initially hesitant, but now I would rave about what he’s doing.�

Her reluctance sprang from the heavy workload Daniel would be undertaking.

However, he’s doing well in school and in the apprenticeship program, as well as participating in sports and volunteer work in the community.

Now in Grade 11, Daniel started the program in Grade 10 via computer from school. Last summer, he worked at Drayton Valley Power, where he gained excellent hands-on experience while accumulating the required work hours to continue with the program.

As of January, he is registered at NAIT and Frank Maddock High School. When he graduates from Grade 12, he will have his 4th class power engineering certificate as well as his high-school diploma – “a workable diploma,� Picardo said.

He can then take courses to upgrade his trade certificate, and branch out to business and management opportunities at a young age.

“What a fantastic start for a high-school student,� Picardo said, and if he decides to go to university, he will have a backup career.

Whatever lies ahead, the trade he’s pursuing is a career, not a job, she stressed, and one that’s in demand.

You Could Be Eligible for a Free Rain Garden

 

Residents living near Sawmill Pond (in the Davisville area of town, extending down toward Ten Rod Road) may be eligible for free landscaping of sorts.

As part of the Sawmill Pond Restoration Project, homeowners in the area are eligible for a free, grant-funded rain garden to be designed and installed right on their property. 

A rain garden is a subtle depression in the landscape, filled with native plants. These gardens help collect and filter stormwater, preventing it from polluting local streams, ponds (like Sawmill Pond) and lakes. They can also prevent flooding on properties. 

Those who are interested or would like more information are invited to attend an information session tonight (Wednesday, Nov. 14) at Davisville Elementary School (50 East Court) at 7 p.m. 

The following streets are either completely in or partially in the Sawmill Pond Watershed. If you have a home or business on one of these streets, you could be eligible for the free rain garden.

  • Abby Lane
  • Alison Court
  • Amy Lane
  • Brookside Drive
  • Caddy Rock Road
  • Clearwater Drive
  • Crest Drive
  • Edgewood Drive
  • Ewing Road
  • Grant Drive
  • Harrington Road
  • Hornet Road
  • Iron Horse Terrace
  • King Phillip Circle
  • Lake Drive
  • Lydia Road
  • Midway Drive
  • Misty Meadows Lane
  • New Lexington Road
  • Nichols Road
  • Oak Tree Drive
  • Old Baptist Road (portions)
  • Parkside Way
  • Pat Circle
  • Pebble Road
  • Pilgrim Drive
  • Sachem Road
  • South Road (portions)
  • School Street (portions)
  • West Court
  • West Davisville Road
  • Yorktown Road (portions)

The following are “significant size, non-residential properties” that are also within the watershed:

  • Wickford Junction Plaza
  • West Davisville Road industrial/commercial complex
  • Stony Lane Elementary School
  • Davisville Elementary School
  • Ocean State Soccer
  • Calvary Chapel Greenmeadow

In the past two years, the Town of North Kingstown began three $625,000 projects to reduce pollution and sediment that enters the nine-acre pond

According to a 2005 report by Patty Gambarini of the Southern Rhode Island Conservation District, Sandhill Brook was dammed to create Sawmill Pond early in Colonial days and last used to power industry before the Civil War. Over the years its 65-foot-wide dam has been reduced to about one foot in height, and sediment has filled the impoundment to the point that it resembles a marsh more than a pond – which feeds into the Hunt River.

Studies of sediment in the brook indicate that “average bacterial levels exceeding those of other Hunt tributaries in 2007 through 2009 by a factor of five, all indicating impairment.”

Learn more about the town’s projects for Sawmill Pond here.

Garden Notes : Without compost, sand dunes would rule on Martha’s Vineyard

Photo by Tim Johnson

A visual treat for humans, maples and other deciduous trees provide vital food for the soil: without them, the landscape would be barren.

When the deciduous forest sheds its leaves, it becomes an annual rite for me to praise the biomass it yields, give it a little eulogy. Indeed, cause for Thanksgiving, although it is hardly ever remarked upon within that context. For this annual leaf drop, along with the trees themselves that bore the leaves, is the source of our soils and the fact that we can live here in New England. I celebrate the Leaf Harvest.

Those who visit the central New England mountains are familiar with the granite that underlies that landscape, and much of New England. Most of New England would be as bald and adamantine as the knob of Mt. Monadnock without the gift of thousands of years of debris shed by our forests. The deciduous forest fueled this transformation and gives us the means to live and survive here, assisted by myriad creatures, insects, fungi, bacteria, and the elements.

It is inconceivable that we should fail to nurture and respect this soil in which we are rooted. Each autumn, as an infinity of leaves drifts down and blankets land and gardens, we can celebrate and renew our appreciation of what it means, what this biomass has done, in creating a habitable place for us. All life and wealth comes from the ecology of this earth we live on. Praise it and be thankful.

Storm debris and leaf piles

When we compost, we are adding humus to our gardens and sequestering carbon. Folks, it is not rocket science, but it is a great thing! In the aftermath of the two recent storms, many, many truckloads of debris have been delivered to the landfills. It is a shame. In the shorthand of composting, this is all “brown” (or “c” for carbon) matter. It is used to balance out the “green,” (or “n” for nitrogen) material when composting.

The twigs, branchlets, and bark that can be raked up are as equally valuable as leaves in a leaf pile or compost heap. Although containment is not necessary, a fence does make it possible to pile debris higher. But even a shapeless leaf dump in a back corner of the yard works, and, plus, becomes a playground feature for children.

A related word about debris concerns storm damage and windfall limbs. There are certain trees that have no place in Island plantings, where wind is always a factor. ‘Bradford’ Callery pear (Pyrus calleryana ‘Bradford’) was originally welcomed as a solution to landscaping streetscapes that included spring bloom and fall color. What was unknown then, but all too apparent now, is that with age the tree’s habit makes splitting dangerously inevitable.

The same may be said for silver maple (Acer saccharinum, not to be confused with A. saccharum, sugar maple): with age the tree becomes a liability. Silver maple transplants well and grows fast, accounting for its popularity. However, due to that fast growth the wood is weak and is easily damaged by snow, ice and wind

Ornamental grasses

During the two storms many tall ornamental grasses were flattened or partially smashed. Having clumps broken over is disappointing, as now is their time to star in gardens. In most if not all cases, they will not return upright. Might as well cut them back now: one less task to do come spring. When a neat job is made of it, the clump still has a presence in the planting.

Montauk daisies

At my house I am conducting a small experiment with Montauk daisies (Nipponanthemum nipponicum). As a sub-shrub here in zone 7a, normally they are left over winter, and pruned back hard in spring. Sub-shrubs receive some winter protection from their old wood during those extreme temperature fluctuations the Island sometimes experiences.

Sub-shrubs are a “neither/nor” group: plants that fall somewhere between herbaceous perennials and woody shrubs, such as mophead hydrangeas, caryopteris, potentilla, and buddleia. Farther south, however, many, including Montauk daisies, are cut back to about ten inches in fall, and then cut even harder in early spring. We may be heading for a climate resembling that of the Chesapeake area, the rationale for what I am trying out this winter.

Garlic planting

I plan to plant garlic tomorrow. I did some prep on the bed-to-be a while back: compost and Pro-Gro spread and broad-forked in. The expected crop of seedling chickweed duly appeared, which I cultivated off with the push-pull hoe. Now my cloves will go in, approximately six inches apart and two or three inches deep. It would seem self-explanatory, but maybe not, that the cloves go straight in, thick end down and pointed end up. The rows are close together but with enough access to go through for weeding — about 12 inches.

Soup from the garden

Now that the winter squash/pumpkin crop is in and stored (first cured by leaving in a warm place from several days to two weeks) it is time to enjoy it. The following recipe is adapted from “Wise Traditions,” Spring 2012 edition.

Butternut Tomato Soup

6 Tsb. butter

2 large onions, coarsely chopped

2 celery sticks, coarsely chopped

2 quarts diced or chopped tomatoes*, or equivalent amount of fresh or cans

1 medium butternut, peeled, seeded, and chopped

1.25 cup stock or water

4 oz. cream or whole milk

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

2 fresh or frozen orange peppers, chopped

salt, pepper, thyme to taste

* or substitute 3 qts. Garden Special for veg except butternut

Melt in a large saucepan over medium heat. Cook onions and celery for five minutes, stirring occasionally, until softened. Stir in the tomatoes, squash, and stock: bring just to boil. Reduce heat for about half an hour, until the squash is tender. Allow soup to cool and purée until smooth. Gently re-heat, stirring in the cream and Parmesan cheese until just simmering. Remove from heat and season to taste.

Do imports for ‘instant gardening’ drive tree disease?

The BBC series Ground Force, that aired between 1997 and 2005, hosted by Alan
Titchmarsh, Charlie Dimmock and Diarmuid Gavin, was the original gardening
‘makeover’ series.

Chelsea Flower Show has also seen a resurgence in the fashion for large trees
and shrubs in recent years, many imported from abroad.

Patrick Courtown, who used to run a landscaping business, said imports are
more likely to bring disease.

“There have been diseases that were thought to have originated from nurseries
in Holland that have hit shrub and trees.”

The most recent disease, ash dieback, is now on 155 sites around Britain. The
disease was imported from abroad on young saplings and could also have blown
over in the wind.

The Earl said the UK should be growing more of our own trees, especially
native trees like ash that are so easy to grow.

He also called for clearer labelling so that gardeners can be sure of where
trees were grown.

“If we look at our own home-grown it would stop the reliance on imports and we
might have fewer diseases.”

SRDC to present: "Winterizing your Yard and Garden."

The Sacramento River
Discovery Center will
meet at 7 p.m. Thursday
at the Farm Bureau building
at 275 Sale Lane to
learn about “Winterizing
your Yard and Garden.”

Danielle Zane, former
manager of Red Bluff
Garden Center, will provide
attendees with tips of
what to prune, mulch,
spray, fertilize, plant or
any other activities that
need to take place this
time of year to produce a
beautiful yard and garden
in the spring.

This topic is particularly
important to the volunteers
that at helping at the
Discovery Center garden
to plant new native
species in the revitalized
garden.

Additional volunteers
are needed to help
with propagation of some
old favorites and the
planting of wild flower
seeds.

The presentation will
be followed with a question
and answer period
and refreshments will be
available.

The SRDC Calendar of
events and 2013 membership
forms will be available.
SRDC is selling
Mendocino National Forest
Christmas tree permits
and they will be available
at this time.

For more information
or to volunteer please call
Bobie Hughes, volunteer
executive director, at 527-
1196 or send an email to
bhughe1@tehamaed.org.

The center is at 1000
Sale Lane within the
Mendocino National Forest’s
Red Bluff Recreation
Area and is open to the
public Tuesday through
Saturday 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

NCAA tips off celebration of 75th March Madness, which ends in Atlanta

The NCAA announced plans Tuesday for a season-long celebration of the 75th year of what has come to be known as “March Madness,” starting with a float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade in New York and culminating with the Final Four in Atlanta.

The NCAA said it will roll out programming and events throughout the season to celebrate the teams, people and moments of the men’s basketball tournament.

“It will be a really fun story to tell,” Dan Gavitt, NCAA vice president of men’s basketball championships, said in a statement. “Today’s March Madness is more than a basketball competition, and we’re excited to help focus a lens on the historical role it has played on college campuses and across our country.”

The first NCAA tournament was held in 1939, an eight-team tourney won by the Oregon Webfoots (now Ducks). Since then, 308 schools have had teams in the Division I tournament. The 75th tournament will start with 68 teams and end with the Final Four in the Georgia Dome on April 6 and 8.

The celebration starts next week in New York, where former tournament stars Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Christian Laettner will ride on the March Madness float in the Macy’s parade and will be honored the next day during the championship game of the NIT Season Tipoff event in Madison Square Garden.

Other 75th-year celebration plans announced by the NCAA:

  • An interactive year-by-year timeline of tournament history, posted at ncaa.com/marchmadness.
  • A fan vote, starting in January, to select the favorite teams, players and moments of March Madness.
  • Programming and commercials across various platforms of the CBS and Turner networks.
  • On-campus activations to showcase various schools’ places in tournament history.
  • “The March Madness art collection,” paintings commemorating each championship team and its coach, to be displayed at the NCAA’s fanfest during the Final Four.
  • And in partnership with Samaritan’s Feet – an organization that provides shoes to needy youth around the world – a season-long effort to raise funds for 75,000 pairs of shoes.

Locally, the Final Four organizing committee is seeking more than 2,000 volunteers “to help with everything from greeting guests at Atlanta hotels to assisting with youth and community events.” Online registration for volunteer positions opened to the public this week at www.volunteerfinalfouratl.com.

The Atlanta Local Organizing Committee expects Final Four weekend to bring 100,000 visitors to the city.

The NCAA Divisions II and III men’s championship games will be played in Atlanta the same weekend as the Division I Final Four, marking the first time the champions of all three divisions have been crowned in the same city. The Divisions II and III title games will be played in Philips Arena on April 7, the Sunday between the Final Four’s semifinal doubleheader and title game.

— Tim Tucker, AJC

RIVERSIDE: Members wanted for community garden – Press

A group of Riverside residents has been working over the past year to develop a design, bylaws and rules for the future Tequesquite Community Garden.

They are now offering charter memberships to the community garden in Riverside that is scheduled to open next summer as part of Ryan Bonaminio Park, now under construction at Palm and Tequesquite avenues.

Charter members will be not be automatically granted a plot, although they will have an opportunity to sign up for one. They will be asked to elect an executive board to manage the garden.

The charter member dues are $10 per person, which grants full membership through Aug.31 next year. Funds will be used to offset costs associated with the Tequesquite Community Garden becoming a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, which will enable future fundraising efforts.

Charter members who live or work in Riverside will be first in line to sign up for garden plots when they become available. A separate plot fee will be required to offset the cost of water and other expenses.

A membership application and a required city liability waiver former are available at the Wood Streets Green team website, woodstreetsgreenteam.ning.com. Both forms must be filled out and signed and mailed with the $10 dues to 4342 Elmwood Court, Riverside, CA 92506.

Contact Pat Silverstri at silvestri.pat@gmail.com for more information.

Arts Review: ‘Orchid’ in Design District Needs Pruning

It’s been nearly 30 years since the Cirque du Soleil phenomenon—artsy, fanciful productions featuring exquisitely costumed tumblers, jugglers and aerialists—swept the globe. Each Cirque du Soleil production was more lavish than the last, with incredible sets and more daring tricks, and, of course, it was performed in a big traveling tent, lending magic to a nation accustomed to packing sports arenas for entertainment.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then Cirque du Soleil should be flattered. Pompano Beach is home to Neil Goldberg’s Cirque company, which has brought the spectacle to performing arts centers around the world. And, in recent years, Miami has been the destination for traveling productions based on pirate and Halloween themes and Absinthe, a period show performed in a wooden, 19th century spiegeltent.

The latest cirque iteration to set up in Miami is Orchid, performed in a spiegeltent in the “Pleasure Garden,” a park on the northwest corner of Biscayne Boulevard and 38th Street on edge of the Design District. Billed as the ultimate mix of sexuality and cirque, Orchid, a new production directed by William Baker and promoted by the Arsht Center, purports to present a tale of the creation of beauty in a solitary, pristine garden.

Voiceovers introduce the Master Gardener (Richard E. Waits), who creates the ultimate flowering beauty, Orchid (Lexy Romano). But, as in the Biblical Garden of Eden, the Master Gardener’s creations are tempted by the Bee Keeper (Patrick Ortiz) and his bees.

The show is part burlesque (get ready to see lots of boobies covered with clever pasties), part musical theater and part circus, and unfortunately, never really hones in enough in any area to be coherent: Let’s face it, this garden needs a good pruning.

The book (Baker and Terry Ronald) is downright hoky, filled with every possible double entrendre about the flowers’ “vessels” and evoking far too many comparisons to the Eden story. The story is certainly not propelled by the score either, which is part New Age soundtrack/part rock anthem, with the small cast tackling familiar pop songs, including “Like a Virgin” (during the pollination sequence, no less), “I Want Your Sex,” “I Feel Love,” “9 to 5,” and “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.”

Most of the vocals are competently tackled by Waits, Romano and Ortiz, but attempts to harmonize with the dancers and performers rarely are convincing. The girls were obviously hired for talents other than their voices.

The costumes, designed by Stevie Stewart and Baker, are colorful, but a little confusing. The Master Gardener is portrayed as a sort of a confusing Mad Hatter character more suited for a Tim Burton film. The Bee Keeper looks like something from the pages of The Great Gatsby in pinstripes, wingtips and straw hat.

Two performances make Orchid worth the ticket price: Stunning aerial acts by the King Bee (Hampus Janssen, a Nordic Adonis whose every ripped muscle glistens under the lights) and comic relief from burlesque performer Kitty Bang Bang (as herself). The mixed gay/straight crowds both ogled Janssen’s perfect body every time the statuesque blond took the stage and sighed with each show of upper body strength. As for Kitty — I’m still not clear how she fits into the whole “garden” thing — well, she stole the show with a high energy, sexy dance number performed with flaming torches and culminated with blazing pasties.

If you go, plan to linger in the Pleasure Garden, tastefully decorated by Luis Pons in giant flowers constructed of garden lattice that perfectly complement the European character of the spiegeltent and accompanying restaurant, featuring a $38 prix fixe menu by award-winning celebrity chef Michelle Bernstein. If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, munch on the duck fat popped popcorn during the show or down a kosher hot dog slathered in kim chee. Just like the show, there are plenty of competing flavors, both salty and sour.

If you go see Orchid

When:

Through Jan. 6, 2013

Where:

The Pleasure Garden
3800 Biscayne Blvd., Miami

How Much:

Tickets $79-118 at www.OrchidTheShow.com