I was in Los Angeles to attend a wedding. And just minutes out of LAX, I was as lost as a goose in a snow storm.
Family and friends know that I have no sense of direction. I can get lost on my way to the bathroom in my house. And it’s not a big house. But this time it was the fault of the GPS device in the rental car. At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Traffic on the freeway leaving the airport was horrible. The all-knowing GPS advised that I take an alternate route. I obeyed and exited onto an equally busy arterial. Within minutes, GPS advised that I make a U-turn and head in a different direction. Highly frustrated, I took navigation into my own hands (big mistake) and quickly found myself lost in a sprawling, rough-looking, residential neighborhood.
All was not in vain, however. As I weaved my way through the neighborhood looking for an exit, I spotted all sorts of novel approaches to home landscaping.
At one point I slammed on the brakes after spotting two large evergreens guarding the entry of a modest home. They reminded me of two giant green walrus tusks.
I threw the car in reverse to get a better look.
“What are you doing?” my wife demanded.
“Honey,” I replied. “I gotta get a shot of those big green pointy things in that yard.”
She grabbed my arm. “That’s not a good idea,” she warned. And she was right.
While I stood by the car taking pictures, a huge man wearing a white T-shirt that covered less than half of his massive upper torso exploded through the front door.
“Hey!” he angrily shouted. “What are you doing?” It was the same question my wife asked only moments before but this time it got my attention.
“Love your evergreens,” I meekly replied. Then I waved, jumped in the car and quickly drove away.
After looking at the photos, I determined that the big green pointy things were Italian cypress, a commonly grown evergreen on the West Coast. I thought they were kind of cool West Coast funky, so-to-speak. The T-shirt clad man’s trees might have been a wee-bit large relative to the size of the structure. But if the big fellow likes them, I like them.
Several ideas are worth considering before planting tall, pointy things in a garden. Narrow, upright growing evergreens (aka, big green walrus tusks, technically known as conical- or columnar-shaped plants) have tremendous attention-getting power, particularly when planted near the entry or corners of a home. They often look cute and charming the first few years. Over time, however, they may grow a tad large for their immediate surroundings, dwarfing a structure and calling more attention to themselves than intended. That’s just an opinion, mind you. But there are many examples of overgrown evergreens up and down residential streets across this great land, none more egregious than the one pictured with this column.
My advice is to think twice, and maybe a third time, before planting attention-grabbing conical plants. Ask yourself: Do I really want a “botanical exclamation point” in a particular garden spot? If you do, great! Go for it.
Also, consider planting dwarf varieties of conical evergreens. It takes them much longer to become offensively overgrown, if ever. Check the label to see if a particular evergreen is likely to top out at more than 10 to 12 feet. Dwarf examples suitable for urban gardens include Degroots Spire arborvitae, Green Mountain boxwood, Sky Pencil holly and the new and stunning Black Dragon Cryptomeria.
Lastly, keep the pruning shears sharp and close at hand.
Barry Fugatt is director of horticulture at the Tulsa Garden Center and Linnaeus Teaching Garden. He can be reached at 918-746-5125 or bfugatt@tulsagardencenter.com.
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