Gardening Tips: Compost Happens

My friend Sheryl spent the end of her holiday weekend up to her ankles in lettuce. Unfortunately she was not in her garden…but in her kitchen.

The garbage disposal had clogged up. Sheryl found her trusty plunger, and with the strength built from years of motherhood, attacked the problem. Two strong pushes, and it was out! It, meaning the lettuce and assorted garbage company, and Out, meaning all over the under-the-sink contents and then quickly all over the kitchen floor. Sheryl’s efforts had blown apart the joints in the pipes. What a gal! What a mess.

I could have saved my friend this messy end to a lovely weekend. I could have told her what I have learned, although it sounds completely un-American: do NOT put anything in your disposal.

Now before you think I’ve set us back 30 years, you need to know it’s not my opinion. This is the sage advice of the last five plumbers who have visited my home, who not only unclogged my pipes, but also sold me new garbage disposals. This, which I am sharing with you, is commonly called “highly paid research.”

Gardening Tips: Compost Happens

“Don’t put your potato peels down your disposal, and not your eggshells, coffee grounds or especially (I’m sorry, Sheryl, I would have told you if you’d asked)…LETTUCE.”

“Well, what can I put in the garbage disposal?” I asked, exasperated.
“Nothing,” he said.
“Well, then, why have one?”
“So you can see me twice a year?” I swear he winked, as he handed me back my Visa card.

So what to do with those kitchen scraps?

I have the answer, and it’s EASY! Compost, compost, compost.

Instead of feeding the drain in your kitchen sink, feed your garden! Keep a bowl or a plastic bag on your counter top and scrape all your vegetable trimmings, eggshells, coffee grounds, tea leaves (yes, including the filters and tea bags), anything veggie or fruit that’s gone past its prime, even the gooey ones, rinds, cores, cobs. If you have time, chop up the big pieces.

What Not to Use

Dump the meat and dairy products into the trash. No bones, skin, etc. You may already know why, or you may not want to know why, but the word “maggot” should suffice.

What to Do With It

There’s the easy way, the easier way, and the easiest way. Compost needs a place to do its thing, which is to break down into nutrients that your garden can use. This can mean a very simple pile in the backyard, where you just layer the vegetable scraps with other organic material, such as leaves or grass you’ve piled up and thrown on top. If you need a tidier solution, you can find compost bins at nursery centers, or places such as Costco or Sam’s (where I found mine — a 3-x-3-x-3 foot plastic container with a place that lifts up so you can get to your ‘black gold.”)

Or you can create your own compost pile using chicken wire in a round shape to contain the materials. Your pile will need air to make its magic, and a way for you to get in once a week to mix it all up with a pitchfork.

Or, the very easiest way to use your composting material is to take your scraps outside. Find a place to dig a hole and bury them. Don’t worry that pets or wild animals will dig them up — they are only interested in protein material, and remember that we’ve already ruled that out. What you bury will decompose and add valuable nutrients back to the soil, helping everything grow better.

How to Know When It’s Ready

It will take a couple of months for it to break down into something usable. You’ll recognize it when you see it — nice dark brown “stuff.” It should feel like a damp sponge in your hand. You can just sprinkle it around your flower or vegetable beds, or if you are making a new garden, dig it into the top few inches. It will help retain moisture, a benefit for all gardens.

Kitchen scraps are a good place to start, but once you are saving them you might consider other additions to your compost pile. Have a personal shredder? (This appliance may take over the garbage disposal’s reign!) Shredded paper and newspaper (but not the comics or colored ink papers) are great for the pile. They add the necessary “brown” part of a “brown and green” compost pile. Also, you can add dryer lint, pet hair, and human hair. Some composting friends of mine ask their hair stylists to save the hair — it’s organic and breaks down nicely. Oh, and did I mention that some friends of mine visit their favorite coffee houses at the end of the day to ask for the leftover grounds?

There are folks who spend a lot of time doing this. They use expensive thermometers to test the heat of their pile, and they debate the proper ratio of brown vs. green. They use elaborate methods to turn their kitchen scraps into Black Gold for their gardens.

For me, it’s enough to know I’m recycling, reusing, and trying my best to earn a small part of the title of Mother Earth. I’m returning what I use to where I received it.

And the next time that plumber comes to visit, I plan to serve him a shredded lettuce salad, grown in my garden, and served on my patio. And I’m the one who’ll be winking.